"Slow down, we're going too fast"

My proudest work piece so far. =) This essay entered the Commonwealth Essay Competition (Write Around The World) and it got a Commended! It was my very first and unexpected essay award. This was the only essay competition which I entered. It's not a high award and I was among dozens who recieved it, but hey, does it matter? =)


“Slow down, we’re going too fast”

“Mom, I’m home!” Dawn shouted. Weary and exhausted, she released herself from her cumbersome bag and books, plopped down onto the room sofa, and surveyed her modest three-room flat.

“Darling,” Mom breezed out of the kitchen, holding a plate of green vegetables. “Why are you so late? It’s already eight. I have to reheat the dinner again. Never mind, come and have your dinner.”

“How’s school today?” inquired Dad, during dinner.

“Nothing much,” Dawn answered dully. “There were three tests today. And I had to rush through a project after school. That’s why I was home late.”

“Good!” said Mom. “Study hard, become a lawyer or a doctor, then I need not be shameful anymore! Don’t be like your brother! What a failure!”

Dawn looked down at her bowl of rice, and pursed her lips. Her only brother, the person believed to bring fortune and luck into the family in traditional households, was in jail for theft a few months ago. Dawn knew that her parents had pinned all their hopes on her, believing that she would restore pride to the family. However, this annoyed Dawn; she was already much stressed and she didn’t need any more pressures.

Dawn was a second-year student in a prestigious junior college. Smart and hardworking, she often topped her classes, surprising her teachers and classmates, and even herself. Well, very seldom do we see ordinary families producing smart children. Even then, being the top girl did not make her happy at all. She was the teacher’s pet, and some of her classmates were extremely jealous of her. Dawn was labeled a ‘Nerd’, ‘Miss Smarty Pants’ or ‘Goody-Two-Shoes’.

“Childish!” Dawn had muttered to herself, as if to make herself believe that it wasn’t worthwhile to have friends from her class. Nevertheless, inwardly, Dawn knew she was avoiding the fact that she had few friends. Dawn missed the popularity she got in secondary school, where teachers and students alike respected her for being the top girl.

After dinner, she retreated to her room as usual, revised her work and completed her homework. This time, she did it with more intensity. Her A’ levels would arrive in about two months’ time. She was already feeling very nervous and stressed. Even though she knew it would affect her health, she still continued to burn the midnight oil.

“I’ve had enough!” she screamed silently, after five hours of intense studying and eye-straining. She slammed the thick, half-opened Physics textbook on her table. Her headache which had started earlier throbbed harder, blinding her vision for a second.

“It’s so boring!” she muttered to herself. “It’s always the same routine everyday. School, home, study, sleep, school, home, study and sleep. I’m exhausted! I want to stop!” Dawn wanted a life that is more relaxing. She wanted a life where she could be free to choose what she wanted and not a life where she had to rush to meet deadlines. She regretted going to a junior college. She could have opted for a more free life in the polytechnic, but she chose the college life.

All this was because she was a filial girl and did not want to let her parents down. Also, having a college education would allow her an easy enrollment into a University. She had thought that after clinching a high-profile job and earning more pay, she would be happier and less stressed. But she was wrong. “Just bear with it and live it through,” Dawn sighed.

She pulled open a drawer belonging to the desk-table, lifted up a couple of thin books, and pulled out a square note-book with a picture of a bicycle set against a country-side background. It was her personal diary. She placed it on her desk, and flipped to a new page. Under the bright desk light, she began to write:

“Slow down, we’re going too fast!” I wished I could scream this out at the top of my voice to the whole world. Everything’s pressuring me to keep on striving for the very best. I feel like I'm constantly being pushed forward by a large, moving crowd that will never cease walking. I can't see where they are walking towards. The people are just a blur in this fast-paced society. The soles of my shoes are wearing off. My head is getting heavier. I am exhausted. The intense heat is suffocating. I want to stop walking. But I am pushed forward by those impatient, forever-moving clusters of people without faces behind me. If I fall, I'd get trampled all over. I'd die…

Dawn closed her diary, and returned it to its secret place. She switched off her desk light, lay down on her bed, and tried to sleep. An hour or so past, but she was still tossing and turning on her bed. All kinds of scientific theories and mathematical equations kept bombarding at her head, making her feel restless. She woke up, and sat on her bed in frustration. The hour-clock beside her bed showed that it was five in the morning.

Knowing that she could not stay in her stuffy bed any longer, she got up and dressed. As she walked silently across the living room, she heard her parents’ snores from the second bedroom. Being deep sleepers, they did not even know that their daughter had sneaked out of the house quite a number of times before. She wore her sneakers, unlocked her bicycle, closed the door with a soft ‘click’ and brought her bike down. Then, she got on her bicycle and began riding along a quiet road.

It was dark, and the road was dimly lit by tall, grey lamp posts. There was no living being in sight. It was silent and eerie, but Dawn liked the way it was. Freedom from reality. Freedom from the rushing world, Dawn thought and smiled as she rode on slowly, taking in the serene atmosphere as she cycled towards her favourite spot, the slope.

While she increased her speed for the uphill ride, she thought about her life, the society, the world. “The world is getting to be a really dismal place,” she thought, somewhat miserably. “What happened to the carefree life we humans once used to have? What happened to the slow-paced life we used to enjoy? Nowadays, it’s hard to savor the joy and fullness of life itself.”

“I’m tired. I need a break, desperately. I’m tired of studying, studying and more studying. I don’t want to be a distinguished person in the future. I regret living in the present and for the future. Children of yesteryear had happy, carefree childhoods. Why couldn’t I have one too? All my memories of childhood were about doing this and doing that at increasing pace, always racing against time.” She cycled upwards, breathing hard, putting more pressure on the pedals.

“Why can’t the world slow down? We need to stop and think about what we are doing. Everything’s a whirl. Slow down, slow down! We’re going too fast! Way to fast! Slow down, oh world!”

The road dipped slightly in front of her. Downhill. Dawn loved cycling downhill. It made her feel relaxed at the end of it. She released both feet off the pedals, straightening them to relax her tired knees. The wind began to blow strongly against her, teasing her shoulder-length hair, cooling her hot neck filled with sweat beads. Then, Dawn closed her eyes, something that she had never done before. She threw back her head. A smile formed on her lips. The swirling sea of thoughts became calm. She could only hear the sound of the wind rushing against her, and she enjoyed her little thrill deliriously. All was quiet. Gone were her thoughts, gone were her stress, gone were her regrets.

She was too engrossed in it that she closed her eyes a little longer than she should. She totally forgot about the rounded kerb a few metres away from the slope. Her bicycle came crashing straight onto it. The impact was so great that her bicycle did a little somersault in the air, throwing Dawn headlong onto the hard concrete path. A loud, piercing scream penetrated the silence before ending abruptly. Dawn immediately succumbed to the darkness that swiftly engulfed her.

Just then, the tip of the sun rose, sending out rays, giving the dark sky tinges of red and orange. Another busy, rushing day had just begun.

No. of words: 1404